So here we are – any day now my wonderful wife will give birth to our first wonderful child, whatever sex it may be.

The question I keep getting asked is – are you a dad yet? – to which my answer is “almost”. But part of me wants to say that I already am.

Faye and I have already prepared our house, nourished our baby, and been good parents in setting a good atmosphere. We’ve already consider their health by changing our diets and making sure that everything in our lives is closed down ready to focus on this new addition.

But even before then, before we even knew we were expecting, we were good parents by building a good marriage. I was a good dad by loving and honouring my wife, by seeking everyday to be the best husband I could be, and Faye was a good wife as she respected and loved me.

And even before then, before we were married or knew each other, I was a good dad by working on my character, by working on things like anger or depression or arrogance as best as I knew how.

In that sense, I’ve been a dad for years. It’s only now that our child is about to arrive.

Thank you all for your support and love – I’m overwhelmed.

Yours,
Scott

I was recently interviewed for the Something Beautiful Podcast, a Christian leaders podcast hosted by Jonathan Blundell.

In this episode, I’m interviewed about my work with Like Minds, how much of that is a mirror of my church, and my draw into Christian work and the subsequent way that I went into business. I’m introduced about 8 minutes or so into the podcast, so beware that the first two voices aren’t me.

Listen to the podcast here.

Your Leading Thoughts

• What has been one of the most life changing situations in your life, similar to those I describe in the podcast?

Recently, a woman by the name of Phyllis Wills passed away.

Type her name into Google, and you’ll find nothing about her. Ask people on the street about her, and you’ll find no body knew her. In fact the only person I know who knows much about Phyllis is my dad.

About 21 years ago, in response to a desperate phone call from a drunken and depressed man who had reached the end of himself along with his wife, Phyllis went down to their home with curlers still in her hair (as she was mid-perm at the point of the phone call), and spent time counselling them. That was the night that my family became Christians, when I was 5 years old.

My dad knew Phyllis because when he was 3 years old, he was run over in a car accident. The doctors told his mother (my grandmother) that he wouldn’t make it through the night, so she went to the local church and it was Phyllis who prayed with her late at night that my dad wouldn’t die. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know what happened!

The point was that she was there for him. She mattered.

The reason why I write this is it’s just one way that someone has effected my life – without whom I wouldn’t even exist. In other words, Phyllis mattered to my life. My life was built on her contribution.

Your Leading Thoughts

• Who Is Your Phyllis Wills? Take a moment to share someone who mattered to you – we’d like to get to know you better.
• If you haven’t had this challenge issued to you already today – take a moment and matter to someone this weekend.

It’s my wife’s birthday today. Happy Birthday my sweetheart – hope you’re enjoying the holiday! (She gets my blog in her email

(BTW you can wish her a happy birthday on her Facebook profile.)

The reason why I bring it up is because she is a woman who supports me unfailingly – the kind of support that I can’t even begin to describe. I don’t mean that she supports me blindly. If you’re looking for the woman is straight and direct with me and doesn’t pull any punches, this is her.

Your Leading Thoughts

I would expect you have people like these in your life too. People who mentor you, support you, speak directly into your heart. Who are they? What are the greatest lessons that they’ve taught you?

A year ago I never thought I’d be running an event in Helsinki today, or meeting the incredible people I’ve got to meet, or spend a day consulting Finland on their Social Media strategy.

But more so, I never thought I’d appreciate people I’ve never physically met so much.

Thank you guys.
Scott

I am, of course, thrilled. I’m going to be meeting some exceptional people over this coming week, as well as taking with me a contingent of exceptional people to Helsinki to engage in a very exciting learning experience.

This has also been a learning experience for me. I can tell you right away I’ve made mistakes and learned some valuable lessons for the future, mainly about community and how to organise an event over email and phone, without being there. Whilst I’ve spoken at events and planned events around the world, this is the first time I have planned an event from afar. I’ll be sharing these lessons over the coming weeks – probably in video form – which will be good to get your input on too.

Want to know one of them now? Ok, you’ve pulled my leg.

We received a lot of  praise and feedback for how well Like Minds Conference 2010 was organised, which I have to agree with. Without being arrogant, it was the most well organised event that I have designed, and it was the best event that I have ever been to with regards to being minute perfect (which is mainly down to my wonderful wife Faye.)

We were pretty prepared for that, but I never knew how easy it was until planning Like Minds Conversation Helsinki. The level of preparation that you need for an international event that you are organised virtually, as opposed to physically, is ten-fold, and likewise communication is ten-fold and the amount of lead time you require, and advance booking of all the elements is also ten-fold. I’ve already outlined how to improve this, and am already drawing up the partnership documents and the event run sheet for Washington DC in September and then Exeter in October now.

My Itinerary This Week

My itinerary is arrive in Helsinki on Tuesday, and then meet with the local press and media as well as locals in general during the day. If you are in Helsinki, let me know. I want to meet you!

Wednesday night I am speaking, as you know, at Dicole Oz on People-to-People (which will be streamed live), and then Thursday 17th June is the big day – Like Minds Conversation Helsinki.

You’ll be able to follow the event live online at http://www.twitterface.com/likeminds, thanks to the wonderful team at Fresh ID, lead by my friends Lisa Qualls and the inestimable Kristi Colvin. Please do support me on the day by tuning in and also engaging on the #likeminds hashtag.

Then Friday I am privileged enough to take our team of speakers and guests and spend a day with Visit Finland, the tourist board of the country, discussing and developing a Social Media plan for the country. I can’t begin to tell you how humbled I am that I find myself in this position – it doesn’t seem real to be honest to think I’ll be consulting a country – and I certainly feel the weight of the responsibility. Of course, the team of people we have is exceptional and I have every confidence that we will deliver a very high degree of value for Visit Finland.

Probably the biggest thing in all of this (and as much as it seems a big deal, I know it’s still a small thing in the grand scheme and all), is that this is all happened quite unexpectedly. This is a theme I want to discuss later – I can categorically tell you that 6 months ago (with Like Minds already underway), I didn’t think I’d be here. And a year ago, I certainly didn’t think I’d ever be here.

And where is here, exactly?

I’m not here for profit. I’m here for a cause. I believe that the connections I am making, and the community I am fostering, will be a force for change, and ultimately, for the spiritual and physical benefit of many.

Photo from Like Minds Conference 2010, courtesy of Benjamin Ellis.

A year ago today I met Trey Pennington: 26th May 2009.

We got talking on Twitter in early 2009, and when he was due to come over to England, we arranged to meet up. Trey actually did one better, and came down to Exeter for one of our first tweetups.

For those of you who know the history, it was the same day that Like Minds began. Trey suggested we do an event, hooked me up with Olivier (whose blog I had been reading for sometime), and we set the date of Friday 16th October 2009.

You know what I love about Trey and people like him? They connect like minded people together.

There’s a saying that you can be a king, or a king-maker. You only get to be king once, but you make many people kings. When I look at Trey I see a king maker, and it inspires me to do the same. Trey never seeks to build his own kingdom, he just helps others build theirs. Another friend I made, Chris Brogan, would call it being the elbow.

In fact, Trey so believes in making kings out of other people, that through doing just that he got to interview his hero (and almost everyone’s hero) Zig Ziglar recently, saying his classic line: “if you help others fulfil their passions, you’ll fulfil yours along the way.”

When I think about how much Trey means to me, as a friend and a person who kickstarted the vision that’s taken me thus far, I realise it’s far more rewarding, effective and exciting to be the king-maker, than trying to put yourself on the throne all the time.

While we’re here, I also want to shout out to my friends Ruairi Fullam and John Harvey, sat either side of Trey, who’ve also supported me continually and mimic Trey’s king-making talents.

So here’s to Trey. I love him, and I thank him.

I find the Social Media world can be a contradictory one at times.

One of the virtues that is extolled in this social world that we talk about is valuing people for who they are, being relevant to them, and celebrating uniqueness. Yet I find that whenever I talk about how I am a follower of Jesus Christ and a pastor at my church, the conversation goes cold.

Part of this, I think, is that the Social Media talkers have this idea that Faith is a dividing line that separates people and causes exclusion. But here’s the thing:

• Is not my faith who I uniquely am?
• Are not many people dividing and exclusive about their Social Media opinions?
• Are their not bigger fights on Twitter than those about faith?
• Don’t some people religiously believe in non-religious things?
• Isn’t faith all encompassing – as in, people have faith in Social Media?
• Shouldn’t driving forces for good be celebrated?

My Christian belief is the biggest driving force in not only my desire but my actions that are about helping people.

I spend most of my week helping people – whether co-ordinating the homeless and displaced in our city, helping people in trouble, guiding people to be all they can be, nurturing the Like Minds community, forging connections, running International Nite to celebrate ethnicity in our city, spending time on the phone with many of you, and providing content on this blog daily that is helping people.

One of the most disturbing things out of all of this is how many people, when I’m on the phone with them, secretly admit that “I’m a Christian too.” I have no problem in putting my faith and my role as a pastor on my blog and on my Twitter profile – yet so many do.

So today I implore you – don’t hide your faith – celebrate it.

Because Social Means Celebration.

And on that note, here’s a poem I wrote on Good Friday many years ago. I think the message of doing whatever it takes, no matter what, stands for whoever and wherever you are:

Could you be seized without a cause,
Then to give no reply, but pause.
To be stripped of your only possession,
And be paraded naked in precession.
To be battered, beaten, bleeding and broken,
And to have your back whipped wide open.
Could you endure
To receive yet more,
And be silent by,
To only later cry:
Eloi.

Could you bear thorns in mocked-fame
Of the right honour due to your name.
And be then taken to the tree, and tied to it,
Fastened, knowing that you were to die by it.
To drag it to Golgotha, where iron nails
Should pierce the saving hands of Israel.
Could you resist
The angel’s assist,
And stay in place
And seek yet His face:
Eloi.

Could you watch those around
Bet your nothing by the ground.
And, past your blood-blurred view,
See your Mother screaming after you.
And watch your very own, your trusted friends,
Deny and leave you to the bitterest end.
Could you still die
To be denied,
And finish this task
Never to ask:
Lama.

Would you live this life and mission:
To be slain by your own creation?
And, after all, having done all this,
Pray then for their forgiveness?
And taking the sin of the world upon you
Holdfast as your father leaves you:
Would you hang in loss
Cursed on cross,
And, Fatherless
Die, answerless;
Sabacthani.

Love you all. Scott

This change happened largely over the course of two years. After finishing college, I became self employed, doing the majority of my work at my church, The River Dream Centre. In a strange twist of fate, I didn’t get accepted for university despite having the grades, and so for me this was divine intervention. I immediately began work on our youth program and created ‘Feedback’ – a monthly event initially aimed at 16 – 19 year olds.

Our first event was an utter reflection of myself (and certain obsessions of mine), and this wasn’t a good thing. We served no cold drinks, just gourmet coffee. No rock music: it was jazz. No games and shouting but more class and culture. But with each month’s event, I became more in touch with the team of people around me, and the audience that we wanted to reach.

It was at the same time that I was reading The Naked Leader by David Taylor, a very off-the-wall and alternative look at leadership that was contra the ’7 flawless and simply steps to success’ gimmick of most leadership books at the time. I didn’t get too much out of the book, other than enjoying my first steps into innovative thought (the chapters were not in order – you read them in different ‘tracks’). But the one thing I did get out of that book which has indeed changed my life was found in the chapter ‘How to build instant rapport’, where whatever it was that David actually wrote, I have always remembered as this simply axiom:

To build rapport with someone, talk about their favourite subject: Themselves.

The lights went on in my mind. I had finally found a way to assist me in building relationships – and boy, did I need it! I began changing my conversations with people from a subject line of myself, to them. I began to love learning about new people by asking questions – this wasn’t some mind trick I was using – I found such joy in connecting with people, and found that talking about them helped them open up and engage on a deeper level with me.

Over the course of one year, Feedback changed from middle class coffee-cocktail party to 350 teens crammed in a room for ‘The Battle of the Bands’ – 350 teens that a year ago, I would’ve have struggled to talk to and connect with, that now were 350 teens that I engaged with, found out all about them, and was able to help them. Our numbers increased month on month at an astounding rate – one month we had 400+ people in the auditorium with another 200 or so waiting outside – and my favourite place to be was at the door, speaking to every single one, remembering their name, and becoming a part of their world.

I needed to make room for them. They needed to know they could talk, they could share what was going on at home and at school, and that someone did care. I became a confident to many, and a leader to well over a thousand young people over that year. Feedback stood for more than fun and music, and even more than community. There was openness and honesty, a culture that wouldn’t have existed if I hadn’t grow from being self-centered to focussed on others.

Essentially, what I think I learnt was empathy. I became more aware of the person sat across from me than I did myself, and emotionally invested into them for a short while. This empathy has become one of my non-negotiables. Whenever I speak to someone new, I’m always thinking now “how am I making this person feel valued”, not because I’m trying to manipulate them or play them, but because I’ve discovered that every person has incredible value, but few people make room for it.

I wrote this over 6 years ago, when I was deeply in love with her but hadn’t told her. On August 28th, 2003, at 00:05am, I quoted this to her and finally told her I loved her. Enjoy.

Finding Heart by Scott Gould

I’ve always sought to find my heart,
To see it alive, as flesh or art;
But I, after I’ve seen or heard,
Find emotion is all too briefly stirred,
And further, what art can compare
To the suns set in clouds so fair?
Though, the sun’s all too short in height
‘Gainst stars that sing in darkest night,
And they’re a dream, till soon some cloud
Should come veil those eyes as a shroud.

But there are some eyes that I know
That into the night, they do not go;
And I know of hair, and oh a face,
To make the sun set in disgrace.
I know a smile that can’t be written,
And beauty, no artist could quicken;
Whose soul is vaster than the sky:
For whom my love will never die;
And a heart, that inside I find
The fullness of my heart defined.