For Those Who Asked… And For My Wife

Posted on August 13, 2009 by Scott Gould

Hi friends – a little something different today – it’s my wife’s birthday, and many of you have been asking for me to post some of my poetry that I’ve written. Tomorrow I’ll resume on the theme of compromsing, but today, let me share with you a very precious poem for Faye and I.

I wrote this over 6 years ago, when I was deeply in love with her but hadn’t told her. On August 28th, 2003, at 00:05am, I quoted this to her and finally told her I loved her. Enjoy.

Finding Heart by Scott Gould

I’ve always sought to find my heart,
To see it alive, as flesh or art;
But I, after I’ve seen or heard,
Find emotion is all too briefly stirred,
And further, what art can compare
To the suns set in clouds so fair?
Though, the sun’s all too short in height
‘Gainst stars that sing in darkest night,
And they’re a dream, till soon some cloud
Should come veil those eyes as a shroud.

But there are some eyes that I know
That into the night, they do not go;
And I know of hair, and oh a face,
To make the sun set in disgrace.
I know a smile that can’t be written,
And beauty, no artist could quicken;
Whose soul is vaster than the sky:
For whom my love will never die;
And a heart, that inside I find
The fullness of my heart defined.

A Time For Peace, A Time For War

Posted on August 10, 2009 by Scott Gould

In running Aaron+Gould, and in a leadership role at my church, I have a fair few battles to deal with on a weekly basis – all around people. People are the most wonderful thing in life, yet they are also the most complex. Whether it’s work, family, marriage or friends, there are always battles in your relationships. We all have critics, complainers, contenders and competitors.

Battles aren’t wrong. Disagreement, fall outs, and then making amends is like breaking a bone – when it heals, it makes the relationship stronger.

What I’ve been pondering this weekend is how do you decide what battles to fight, and which to leave? Is leaving a battle the same as loosing it? Or do you only loose if you fight and don’t win? Furthermoor, what makes a win?

I’ve always considered that you only go to war when the spoils are worth the endeavour.

That means you need to assess the scale of the battle and the potential scale of the outcome. Battling to get my wife to stop buying more shoes probably will take a lot of my emotional energy, and doesn’t have any spoils in the short term because she just doesn’t see the hundreds of shoes in the closet! However the potential long term outcome of the battle could cost me thousands of pounds over the coming years.

Determining long term spoil from short term spoil requires you to play the ‘what if’ game. What if we carry on spending money on shoes every month? What if I continue letting my child have their way even if it’s a small thing. What if I continue letting my critics go unchallenged, even though no ones listening now? What if I stopped that bully at work always forcing their opinion?

Playing the what-if game requires you know yourself and your goals pretty well. You don’t need to be precise, but you can’t be vague.

What do you guys think? How do you decide what to fight for?

Introducing Mrs. Gould

Posted on June 25, 2009 by Scott Gould

It’s hard to know where to start. If I started from the beginning, I wouldn’t finish. But if I don’t say how it began, then you won’t know just how precious she is.

I guess I’ll start with the vital statistics. A praying woman. Blonde bombshell. A very insightful wife. A Youth worker and number-two at Women In Touch. She’s also tall, which is great when you’re 6′ 3″ yourself. Also, she’s the holder of my heart and companion of my life.

I met Faye when she was 15 at a prayer meeting. I remember thinking “wow, she can pray” – unfortunately a rather rare thing among Christians today. It wasn’t long before I became very (*very*) fond of her and started writing poetry about her in secret. On August 27th 2003 we started dating. We were engaged a year later, and married on 25th June 2005, which as of writing, is 4 years ago today. So, happy anniversary sweetheart! (P.S. You can see wedding and honeymoon photos on flickr)

Faye is an outstanding woman. First of all, she’s a smart cookie. She excelled at college and university (she has a 1st) despite being dyslexic. She’s employed by the The Ivy Project, Devon County Council and V Involved, where she waves to her targets as she passes them by every quarter. Her work with the young people at Ivy, as well as the detached youth work she does two evenings a week, are a joy to her. It’s a funny thing to watch your English Rose go from cream tea and Paul Smith to relating with teenagers from disadvantaged backgrounds and talk their language. But that’s the woman I’ve married and I love it.

It’s the same passion and desire to help people that drives her at Women In Touch – the Women’s ministry that operates out of our church. I am astounded how, after working in a target driven youth organisation, she can then come and work (as a volunteer) at WIT and manage their yearly Touch Conference. This year they are giving away a car, have 200 ladies coming from around the Country and Europe, and are running at a budget twice the size of last year.

She always jokes that as a husband, I need to “upgrade” every quarter to stay up-to-date. But she is the one who continually reads, thinks, asks questions, and pushes herself to do more than she did last year. For every young man reading, this is the kind of wife Proverbs 31 talks about. And I encourage you not to settle for less. I was the first man Faye kissed – it seems out of date for many, but she has absolutely no regrets. She was the first and only serious relationship I’ve had.

Faye and I say that when you give God your best, He gives you the best, and this is never truer than it is today.

And you’ve got to know, she has a way about her. Like Billy Joel said,

She’s got a way about her, don’t know what it is, but I know that I can’t live without her…
She has a smile that heals me, don’t know what it is, but I have to laugh when she reveals me…
She comes to me when I’m feeling down, inpsires me without a sound…

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing” is what Proverbs says. And oh, how I have a good thing in Faye. What once was just a beautiful relationship, over 4 years has become an intimate, supportive and joy-bringing union.

So, my wife, I love you and thank God for you. To quote Jerry, “you complete me”. You’re my dulcissime.