The difficult journey of being yourself

Years ago I read that as a leader you will have your own values that you lead by. This was a revelation to me – I had assumed that as a leader who should get rid of your own personality (I was a self-effacing church leader, after all!)

Recently I have returned to business after a hiatus, and one of my struggles has been to create the offerings that people will buy from me.

The struggle has been twofold. First of all, it’s finding out what’s valuable to others that I have. But the second has been in the way I’ve tried to edit who I am in order to provide that value.

Then in a moment of frustration (and to be honest, depression) a month or so ago I realised that I was making a mistake. Why was I trying to change myself in order to be valuable to others? Or, was it that I need to become even more driven, more promotional, to make things work?

Then I read this tweet, from my friend Adam, that really set me free from this pressure:

What a beautiful line! “Be yourself. Eventually we all are.”

Isn’t that just the truth? How often do we try to edit ourselves for something to end up only reverting back to ourselves in the end anyway. Thus, I realised that I would save a lot of time if I could create business offerings that were as close to the authentic me as possible.

I’m still on that process of working that out. (Hey, clarity is hard work!)

But, I have made progress by codifying my values – the essence of who I am. More on that another day.

 

25th April, 2016

5 Comments

  1. Scott, this is truly an authentic read. Just as Adam said, “Be yourself, eventually we all are”…this is profound as that’s the best and only way to be. True success isn’t derived from giving the people what they want. People love when we are vulnerable and true to form. Finding yourself is a journey and I for one can truly attest to that. A few years ago I lost my true self as I wanted to be a people pleaser. I wanted to conform to something that I wasn’t, in order for a select few to “love” me. Then one day it dawned on me, I was doing nothing more than torturing myself, as I had lost me. It took awhile to return to the place of liberation and finding Naudia again, but once I found me, there was no looking back. Today I have so much to offer to so many, and though I may not be able to offer it everyone, those that I do reach are able to say “yes, she practices what she preaches”. I hold my head high with integrity knowing that the lives that I inspire are the ones that were meant to be inspired. Being yourself is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and others, once you find it. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

    • Hey Tumi

      Lovely to hear from you – thank you for the kind comment.

      I’m glad to hear your story. I think what you say about being a people-pleaser is the thing here. We often adjust to please those few, and forget the many that are already so happy and pleased that we are ourselves.

      Reply

  2. Love that – Be Yourself. Eventually we all are. Simplistic wisdom is the best! I once heard that happiness is becoming more of who you are and I couldn’t agree more. I believe the more we take the change to be ourselves, the more passion and purpose we can achieve in our lives. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

    • Lovely again to hear from you Ashley!

      I heard another great quote, which has become a manta of mine now:

      “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

      Reply

  3. […] my journey to discover who I am, I have been thinking about my values. By codifying my values, I hope to […]

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