Richard Branson posted this video at the beginning of the week and I immediately retweeted it. If you don’t know who Archbishop Desmond TuTu is, he was instrumental in the pulling down of apartheid in South Africa. I have all the respect in the world for this man who has stayed the course, and in his old age continues to speak out against Mugabe, was well as against the western countries that do nothing to intervene.
This video, whilst on one level speaking in regard to the much publicised Islamic treatment of Women in Sharia Law, for me speaks about the measure of a man, because multitudes have watched and will watch this video, and smile as they know they do not hit their wife, or hurt women, and therefore feel justified. But I want to ask every man in the world a question…
How do you treat women?
I know many who will not hit their wife, but they will cut her down with harsh words, belittling her so that this poor excuse for a man can have some feeling of power. I know other men who will not harm a women, but talk trash about her at the office all day and gossip behind her back.
Some men will treat their sister with respect, but treat any other women as if she were an inanimate object to attain and throw away. Our magazine racks and television screens overflow with women paraded as animals who live only to fulfill lustful desires, men ranking them solely on their ability to gratify their insatiable quench for pleasure, as if they lack any other inherent value such as personality, strength, tenderness and warmth.
I see and hear men talk about women like they are chickens crammed into some coop in some battery farm, harvested for their bodies, and their well being cast aside as collateral damage and an unfortunate side product. My own cousins tell me they have lost count of their ‘conquests’, laughingly and arrogantly confessing that somewhere, in all likelihood, is a child they’ve unwittingly fathered.
Oh, they don’t hit women, but the bruises left on the women of our nation are clear. The broken bones of our fractured society are not accidental. The nine and ten year old girls in miniskirts, hunting around the shopping mall for boys, are no coincidence. I’ve seen single mother after single mother come through our church, and despite all the hurt than men have inflicted her, cannot imagine any other way that men would desire her than for her body and what it can do for them. And I have seen with my own eyes that their children, in turn, grow up with the same impression.
And it is with unbelief that, that when I ask and seek to bring understanding, not one of these men considers they have done any wrong.
I agree with your sentiment here I do think that there should also be an observation of the flipside of things.
Although some guys sometimes joke about conquests and possible children, some women can gossip and manipulate. The thing is, while seeing single mothers can be heartbreaking, there are men who have been cheated on, and those who may be raising children who aren’t their own (and not to their knowledge). There are guys who are serial monogomists but there are examples of women who use sex to raise their status (wag/gold digger). I think you can see where I’m coming from.
As an aside, domestic violence towards men isn’t really covered at all (generally), but it does occur (but likely not as much). I think in both cases they are utterly unacceptable.
I must stress that of course for both women and men who are guilty of all these things that these are generally the exception and not the rule…!
Also, I think everyone knows someone who’s been in a relationship who’s had an almost constant ear thrashing or down talking from their partner regardless of gender.
I think as equality gains more and more foundation, the focus should really be on treating everyone regardless of race / gender / sexuality / anything equally and with love and respect. Sometimes society evolves so fast that people can’t keep up, but by being honest, loving, caring and respectful is a great place to start, in my opinion.
Of course everyone should be treated with respect, and this does indeed work both ways. Sometimes I have been accosted by women who have scared the life out of me!
But I will unapologetically say that these men need to wake up, and as the instigators of female oppression for thousands upon thousands of years, the ball is in our court to be gentlemen and treat the women in our life with the respect they deserve.