People Don’t Remember What Was Said, They Remember How They Felt
This is a photo of me, Chris Brogan and Molly Flatt and the Like Minds Summit earlier this year. Looking at it reminds of one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learnt – namely that what I remember from that day isn’t the content we discussed (despite it being amazing), but it’s the feeling of friendship that I had.
Earlier this year I guest posted an article on Search Engine People discussing a simple framework to focus on feeling, because the reality is that when people reach the door, close the laptop, or put their head on the pillow, they don’t remember what was said, they remember how they felt.
Armed with 4 A’s, I used a restaurant as an example to explain how this is done – and you can apply this to anything: a shop, website, event, person, anything. You can read the whole thing here. The synopis briefly is that you need to consider:
Anticipation: How do you people feel about you, before they’ve experience you?
Ambience: What does it feel like when people are with you?
Assistance: How are you providing people what they need, so they don’t feel unsure or unprepared or?
Association: What does it feel like to be linked to you?
What I wanted to discuss today is what this statement, people don’t remember what was said but how they felt, means for us in the light of recent conversation. Right away, for example, I think of conferences where we often find organisers and speakers cramming content down throats, without thinking about how those attendees will feel about the event as a whole.
When you get to thinking about experience and feeling, you have to be user focussed, because that’s where all the feeling happens!
I was speaking to Chris Hall the other day (we meet up face-to-face a lot), and he was saying that the top thing he remembered from Like Minds wasn’t the content, it wasn’t hanging out with the great people, it was actually when I saw him on the Thursday night before and gave him a hug. That messes with my organiser mindset that says people will remember some profound thing that I said or some great innovation that we made. Because they won’t. They’ll remember the bit that made them feel special.
I wonder, then, how you can stop thinking about what you are saying, and instead on how you are endeavouring to make people feel special.
Your Leading Questions
- When did you come away from something and you remembered how you felt far more than what you heard?
- How do we translate feeling into action?
- How do we measure feeling?